IPA Madness

For those of you who are reading this post because you think it has something to do with booze, you can go ahead and stop reading now. Sorry, its not. Never really liked IPA's too much anywho. Nope, this entry has to do with the ever-fascinating International Phonetic Alphabet.

For those of you now thinking, "What the heck is the International Phonetic Alphabet?" it's one of those marvelously useful things you learn while pursuing a degree in Musical Theatre Performance, along with how to roll around on the floor and breathe properly. I bet you guys had no idea that you didn't know how to breathe properly. Haha, suckaz!

Along with being part of a MT Major's curriculum it's also the set of crazy looking symbols used to illustrate how a word is pronounced. You know, those wacky upside down E's, small R's, and that crazy love-child of and O and an E - basically those things that you completely ignore in the dictionary. Still unclear? See the included chart.

So why should you care about the IPA now, when you've never cared before? Not really sure. However, if you've been finding that the provided pronunciations of the French-speck vocab lessons haven't been displaying properly you've got yourself an IPA problem. Yep, your web browser, though massively useful, isn't smart enough to translate the IPA language. That means it's either time to update or download Firefox (you're gonna have to do it sooner or later anyways). After completing that task you'll finally be able to view KGB-B[lahhg] in all of it's intended righteous glory. Life will take on an entirely new level of meaning, I promise you.

If not, at least your browser is up to date.

KGB-B[lahhg] French-speak 101 Vol. VIII

rein /Rɛ/ nm kidney; ~s (dos) small of the back.

While the usefulness of this word is arguable, it made us smile.

KGB-B[lahhg] French-speak 101 Vol. VII

condamné /kɔdamne/ vt doomed.

The word just seems to keep coming to mind as October 1st approaches.

Wierd Thought of the Week

"I should probably put on a shirt to talk to my parents. Oh no, do I need to put pants on too?"

Ok, this thought requires some context. Kyle's parents are in the Land of 1,000.35 Lakes. Kyle is in New York City (see above map). Kyle is in an apartment without central air. New York is hot. New York is hella hot. So, taking into account that all my communication with my parents is via phone, the idea that chatting sans (FRENCH-SPEAK, BOOYAH!) wardrobe is considered quite often and even occurs regularly (sorry folks) shouldn't surprise anyone.

That has all changed now.

In preparation for the months ahead we made our maiden voyage into the world of video chat. Video chatting is the oddest combination of surprisingly cool and also uber-wierd. Something about seeing your parents lounge around in your childhood home while sitting in your own living room is honestly kinda trippy. I'm sure the opposite is also true. Seeing my (no avoiding first-person singular here) ginormous head floating, quasi-disembodied, in my darkened living room must be slightly disturbing, especially when the audio is fractions of a second behind. Anticipating this, as the process of getting all the proper software and hardware installed progressed, we here at KGB-B[lahhg] (ahhh, back to third-person) considered how we could minimize the oddness.

"I should probably put on a shirt to talk to my parents. Oh no, do I need to put pants on too?"

The shirt won. The pants didn't. I just kept the crop tight on the camera.

Sorry folks.

KGB-B[lahhg] French-speak 101 Vol. VI: A Brand New Series and a Double-Dose!

sarcasme /saRkasm/ nm sarcasm.

ironie /iRɔni/ nf irony.

Used in a sentence:
Is this really necessary? It's all over this page already.

Hmmm...so sarcasm is masculine, while irony is feminine. How interesting.

Update: Due to compositional issues this daily column's name has changed. Can't have the title using up two lines. Nope, too much white space. The new title also allows us to attack French-speak in a broader manner thereby providing our dear readers with a more enlightening and fulfilling experience. Woot!

KGB-B[lahhg] French-speak Word of the Day Vol. V

femme /fam/ nf woman; (épouse) wife.

Used in a sentance:
Ma femme a été laissée.

Hmmmm...how interesting. Can we all say patriarchal society?

Sacrebleu! "Word of the Day" Challenged!

We here at KGB-B[lahhg] care. We listen. Unlike other blahhgs, we read your comments and respond, because we care. We listen. A few days ago, a "knowledgeable" reader challenged a definition we provided. Well, we listened, and we cared, and now, for our readers at home, we provide what we like to refer to as Exhibit A in our Case For The Validity Of Our Funny.

Anything wrong with the definition we provided? Was our funny inaccurate?

Oohhh, burn Alex! Uhh, we mean oh so "wise" reader.

And suddenly, the apprentice becomes the master.

So no one ever say we don't listen, or that we don't care. Because we care, oh yes we do. And we listen. In fact, we are listening right now. Right this very second. Us and the NSA. Right there with you on your phone lines. Booyah!

**Disclaimer: So, ok, "wise" reader was right too, but we really wanted to add some images to the blahhg, and this was the best reason we could think of to include one. Basically, we started a battle in order to look cool. How very American of us. France-land is gonna love us!