Welcome the birth of this much anticipated column. Who was anticipating, you ask? Someone, somewhere I'm sure...or at least I hope. This is what happens when I get bored at home and decide to play around with the self-timer feature.
French is so much fricking fun to speak. Here's your daily dose of Rosetta Stone lesson lovin'. Truly a sentence everyone should master, not necessarily because of it's practicality, but just because it's so much fun to try to say.
Le garçon ne peut pas parler parce qu'il est sous l'eau.
It seems as if this column is going to quickly become a forum for me to marvel communally about the oddity of Rosetta Stone vocabulary lessons. Yesterday's lesson included the saying...
Cette tête est une vraie tête.
et
Cette tête n'est pas une vraie tête.
Translation: "That head is a real head" and "That head is not a real head."
Thank you Rosetta Stone. Now I can begin this journey fearlessly as I can be assured that I have been equipped with all the vocab necessary to survive. Watch out all you imposter heads, I'm gonna call you out!
After my post a couple weeks ago referencing the '80s Classic "It's the Final Countdown" by Europe, I was rather shocked to discover that many people had absolutely no idea what I was talking about. Some people thought that I had simply made up that little graphic out of convinience. Ohhhh, it is time for some educating. Click below...
...and now consider yourself learned.
So, if all has worked out as hoped, this blog should have an interesting new feature today. If not...I suppose it won't. This sentance right here, by the way, is only filler. It has no point other than to make the text wrap around one more time in order to test sizing.
By the way, I am fully aware that there has been a huge lapse in posting. I have just returned from a hiatus to the Columbian District of Washington. Now I have to actually spend time getting this done, as Bye-Bye time is quickly approaching.
More soon.
What follows was part of an actual vocab lesson in Rosetta Stone. For those of you not familiar with the program, they show an image and display the appropriate phrase or word in the given language. I must admit, I was a little befuddled by the idea that this might be in any way useful to my travels.
Attention! Kangourous.Now maybe I am missing something, but I am pretty sure that there are no kangaroos indigenous to France, nor in any country that speaks French therefore necessitating the learning of French to travel there. But, I am glad that I now know how to properly describe such signs and warn friends about the danger of a possible kangaroo presence. Thank you Rosetta Stone. Without you I would be lost.
A person died here today. A person who so many of us have relied upon over the years to provide us with safety and understanding. A person who was at times flippant and amusing, and at others poetic and heart-wrenching. Yes, ladies and gents, today, here at the KGB-B[lahhg], the Third Person died.
The time just came. It needed to die. The narrative here at KGB-B[lahhg] would forever be limited, and I just couldn't accept that. Also, it was really becoming a pain in the derriere. Trying to figure out how to readjust thoughts into the third person is quite time consuming, and as most of these entries are composed in the lapses between helping guests at the Hudson it was just no longer practical.
Sorry Thirdy (I called him Thirdy), you had just out lived your usefulness. I have been assured that he felt no pain in his passing, and that his last words were a blessing to us all. "Good luck y'all," he said in his final breath, "Just try to remove yourself from your actions without me. Suckaz!" Thirdy always had such a wry sense of humor.
Disclaimer: No actual Third Person's were harmed in anyway in the writing of this entry. The views and opinions expressed above are solely those of the author. This includes the contention that the third person is masculine. His just happens to be.
A helpful dialog.
French-personne: Êtes-vous américain?
Intrepid explorer: Non, j'habite à New York*.
French-personne: N'est-il pas New York aux Etats-Unis?
Intrepid explorer: Dépend. Vous aiment des Américains?
Your helpful translation:
French-person: Are you American?
Inrepid explorer: No, I live in New York.
French-person: Isn't New York in the United States?
Intrepid explorer: Depends. Do you like Americans?
*This dialog works a lot better if you are from New York. The pretentious cultural elitism just doesn't play as well with other locations like...well everywhere else.
Ok, not exactly of the variety of the picture to our right, but I've decided visual aides can be very helpful. And come on, the band who sang it was Europe, and Kyle's going to Europe. So, it's sort of the final countdown to Europe. Get it? Yeah? Cool.
Though marking the milestone has been missed by a day, we have now entered The Final Month before Le Grand Bye-Bye. Set them watches, folks. T-Minus...uhhh...un, deux, trois...uhhh...29 days until takeoff.
The process of departure presses forward nicely. Health insurance has been secured, Rosetta Stone lessons have begun again in earnest, and the final to-do list has been created. The biggest challenge facing our intrepid explorer is contact with his soon to be landlord. Why, might you ask, is he dragging his feet in regards to this phone call? Well, first of all, Kyle is, for some unknown reason, scared of cold phone calls. No, that's being too specific. In all honestly, Kyle is rather scared of all serious/important phone calls, maybe all phone calls in general. His parents can attest to that. So, add in a nice hand full of non-English speaking landlord to this already ripe slab of fear, mix heartily with Kyle's lack of French-speak, and you get a nice fluffy batch of Kyle procrastination. Kyle has promised himself the phone call will happen before the end of the week, if for no other reason than Kyle does in fact have to sleep somewhere. He gets nasty when he doesn't sleep. And sick. Emily "The Wife Left Behind" and his parents can attest to that. And no one likes a nasty, sick Kyle. Especially Kyle.
Today we enter the world of French-speak sayings - WITH PICTURES!!
