Where in the World is Kyle?

Track Kyle on his Bye-Bye. The map will be updated continually as Kyle discovers more.

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Thursday, August 30, 2007

IPA Madness

For those of you who are reading this post because you think it has something to do with booze, you can go ahead and stop reading now. Sorry, its not. Never really liked IPA's too much anywho. Nope, this entry has to do with the ever-fascinating International Phonetic Alphabet.

For those of you now thinking, "What the heck is the International Phonetic Alphabet?" it's one of those marvelously useful things you learn while pursuing a degree in Musical Theatre Performance, along with how to roll around on the floor and breathe properly. I bet you guys had no idea that you didn't know how to breathe properly. Haha, suckaz!

Along with being part of a MT Major's curriculum it's also the set of crazy looking symbols used to illustrate how a word is pronounced. You know, those wacky upside down E's, small R's, and that crazy love-child of and O and an E - basically those things that you completely ignore in the dictionary. Still unclear? See the included chart.

So why should you care about the IPA now, when you've never cared before? Not really sure. However, if you've been finding that the provided pronunciations of the French-speck vocab lessons haven't been displaying properly you've got yourself an IPA problem. Yep, your web browser, though massively useful, isn't smart enough to translate the IPA language. That means it's either time to update or download Firefox (you're gonna have to do it sooner or later anyways). After completing that task you'll finally be able to view KGB-B[lahhg] in all of it's intended righteous glory. Life will take on an entirely new level of meaning, I promise you.

If not, at least your browser is up to date.

KGB-B[lahhg] French-speak 101 Vol. VIII

rein /Rɛ/ nm kidney; ~s (dos) small of the back.

While the usefulness of this word is arguable, it made us smile.

Wednesday, August 29, 2007

KGB-B[lahhg] French-speak 101 Vol. VII

condamné /kɔdamne/ vt doomed.

The word just seems to keep coming to mind as October 1st approaches.

Monday, August 27, 2007

Wierd Thought of the Week

"I should probably put on a shirt to talk to my parents. Oh no, do I need to put pants on too?"

Ok, this thought requires some context. Kyle's parents are in the Land of 1,000.35 Lakes. Kyle is in New York City (see above map). Kyle is in an apartment without central air. New York is hot. New York is hella hot. So, taking into account that all my communication with my parents is via phone, the idea that chatting sans (FRENCH-SPEAK, BOOYAH!) wardrobe is considered quite often and even occurs regularly (sorry folks) shouldn't surprise anyone.

That has all changed now.

In preparation for the months ahead we made our maiden voyage into the world of video chat. Video chatting is the oddest combination of surprisingly cool and also uber-wierd. Something about seeing your parents lounge around in your childhood home while sitting in your own living room is honestly kinda trippy. I'm sure the opposite is also true. Seeing my (no avoiding first-person singular here) ginormous head floating, quasi-disembodied, in my darkened living room must be slightly disturbing, especially when the audio is fractions of a second behind. Anticipating this, as the process of getting all the proper software and hardware installed progressed, we here at KGB-B[lahhg] (ahhh, back to third-person) considered how we could minimize the oddness.

"I should probably put on a shirt to talk to my parents. Oh no, do I need to put pants on too?"

The shirt won. The pants didn't. I just kept the crop tight on the camera.

Sorry folks.

KGB-B[lahhg] French-speak 101 Vol. VI: A Brand New Series and a Double-Dose!

sarcasme /saRkasm/ nm sarcasm.

ironie /iRɔni/ nf irony.

Used in a sentence:
Is this really necessary? It's all over this page already.

Hmmm...so sarcasm is masculine, while irony is feminine. How interesting.

Update: Due to compositional issues this daily column's name has changed. Can't have the title using up two lines. Nope, too much white space. The new title also allows us to attack French-speak in a broader manner thereby providing our dear readers with a more enlightening and fulfilling experience. Woot!

Sunday, August 26, 2007

KGB-B[lahhg] French-speak Word of the Day Vol. V

femme /fam/ nf woman; (épouse) wife.

Used in a sentance:
Ma femme a été laissée.

Hmmmm...how interesting. Can we all say patriarchal society?

Sacrebleu! "Word of the Day" Challenged!

We here at KGB-B[lahhg] care. We listen. Unlike other blahhgs, we read your comments and respond, because we care. We listen. A few days ago, a "knowledgeable" reader challenged a definition we provided. Well, we listened, and we cared, and now, for our readers at home, we provide what we like to refer to as Exhibit A in our Case For The Validity Of Our Funny.

Anything wrong with the definition we provided? Was our funny inaccurate?

Oohhh, burn Alex! Uhh, we mean oh so "wise" reader.

And suddenly, the apprentice becomes the master.

So no one ever say we don't listen, or that we don't care. Because we care, oh yes we do. And we listen. In fact, we are listening right now. Right this very second. Us and the NSA. Right there with you on your phone lines. Booyah!

**Disclaimer: So, ok, "wise" reader was right too, but we really wanted to add some images to the blahhg, and this was the best reason we could think of to include one. Basically, we started a battle in order to look cool. How very American of us. France-land is gonna love us!

Friday, August 24, 2007

Work Continues...

And because of that, the staff here at KGB-B[lahhg] is TIRED! Actually, our exhaustion has very little to do with work, and more with us having stayed up too late watching how "Hard Out Here For a Pimp" it really is - which it seems is pretty difficult. Note to self: Skip pimping...it seems to cause much sweating.

Though I can't credit it as the cause of my exhaustion, much work and preparation for the big Bye-Bye has been occurring. Likey the mapy up above? That would be the fruit of a nice slow day of work. More fun things like that along the way.

Most of the work has been behind the scenes though. The last two days were almost completely spent looking at computer screens, slowly, but surely, transferring every single one of our files from Emily "The Wife Left Behind's" old computer to our spanking new MacBook, which will not be going bye-bye with Kyle. Groan...... The new beast, however, is now completely up to speed, and this entry is 100% MacBook composed. Can you tell the difference? Does this entry read quicker, more easily, and possess a certain unique cool design flare that the others didn't? No? Try hitting F9 than you crazy PC users, it will blow your mind. [All the PC users are now hitting F9 and watching nothing happening and wondering what the heck I'm talking about. All of us Mac users are chuckling and shaking our heads. Don't worry, we know your ignorance is not your fault.]

I'm going to go off and try to implement some changes I have made to the map. Also I'm off to go have some fun Skyping.

KGB-B[lahhg] French-speak Word of the Day Vol. IV

fatigué ~e /fatige/ adj tired.

Used in a sentance:
Kyle est
très fatigué.

Ohhhh sooo true.

Thursday, August 23, 2007

Just So I Can I Say I Did

Here's my daily entry. This is all it's going to consist of because right now I'd rather be spending my time with Emily "the wife left behind". I don't think anyone reading this is going to fault me - except maybe the person with the Canadian IP address. Yes, that's right - I'm tracking you! Bwhahahaha!

KGB-B[lahhg] French-speak Word of the Day Vol. III

Due to inebriated revelry last night, today's dose of French-speak is going to be double the fun, double the flavor, doublemint French.

folle /ful/ nm madman.

Used in a sentance: "Yo folle, what up?"

francophone /frakofon/ adj French-speaking; nmf French speaker; phone that only works in France.



Used in a sentance: "I bought a francophone today. Now I can finally call home!"

Wednesday, August 22, 2007

Evolution: KGB-B[lahhg] v 1.00.002 SP 4

Anyone who has been checking this blog with any regularity (hopefully there are at least a few of you) has probably noticed that the site keeps changing every single time you stop by. Well, we here at KGB-B are working non-stop to bring you the finest experience in Bye-Bye blahhging.

Just yesterday we added two new interesting features. See that handsome devil over there to your right? That would be a picture of the bye-bye going Kyle himself. Yep, we've gone multimedia. Expect to see more in the way of picture madness in the coming days. As soon as this crappy weather breaks and we can get outdoors with our camera we will be able to proceed with our Master Plan. That's right this blahhg is GOING PLACES!!

The second new feature you can find under my disclaimer on the right side of the page. Thanks to a wonderful little thing called Feedburner you can now have the KGB-B[lahhg] delivered directly to your email box. Have no fear, I won't sell your email addresses to anyone...unless they pay me A LOT of money...then you're all screwed, but come on, would you really blame me? So sign on up and start getting your daily dose served piping hot in your inbox.

The only other major change has been the color and layout of the page, which has been changing more often than...ummmm...something that changes really, really often. Still trying to determine the "right" look and feel for KGB-B. Comments and criticism welcome.

Once more of the logistical aspects of the site have been sussed out "real content", have no fear, will return. In the meantime I will try to keep my basic updates as Kyletastic as possible.

This is Kyle...going bye-bye.

Tuesday, August 21, 2007

KGB-B[lahhg] French-speak Word of the Day

droit, ~e /drwa, -t/ adj (contraire de gauche) right; (non courbe) straight; (loyal) upright.

Hmmmm....anyone see a problem here?

This is why I think French rocks.

Too bad there isn't a font named "sarcasm".

Bye-Bye Sequence Initiated

Though I suppose it was already official, today it's really official, I'm going bye-bye. The plane ticket has been bought. I will be flying air freight, you might know this section by the term preferred by airlines - international coach, on the wildly popular Air India. That's right, inflight chicken vindaloo. Their service is quite interesting actually. Apparently, to keep costs down you actually fly the plane yourself. Once you board you dial in to their "Pilot Assistance Line" and their customer service rep guides you through the process. Flights are frequently delayed as hold times can be rather long...but don't worry, they do value your call and someone will be with you shortly.

Monday, August 20, 2007

KGB-B[lahhg] French-speak Word of the Day

'Cause some people just couldn't wait......you know who you are.

croissant /krwasa/ nm crescent; croissant; French crack


"The Death of the Three Chords" or The Kremlin Goes On-Line

So after a long and illustrious career, we have decided to retire the three ominous chords. Although we felt it was a strong statement for the Kyle Goes Bye-Bye Brand, Inc. (NASDAQ: BYEBYEKYEKYE) we came to the conclusion that it was, in fact, nothing more than a royal pain in the butt. To remain a true player in our competitive group we must address daily the delicate balance of obnoxiousness vs. funnyness vs. laziness. After waking up this morning and confronting the thought that we would have to continuously cut and paste the unique formatting of the three ominous chords we decided to hell with that!

Three ominous chords, you served us well. You will be missed. A moment of silence please.

.....

Obnoxiousness & Funnyness - 0 Laziness - 1

In a bold move of re-branding, however, Kyle Goes Bye-Bye, Inc. has recently concluded negotiations with the Russian government resulting in the acquisition of their State Security Department's web log address. Beginning today, Kyle Goes Bye-Bye will now be referred to as:

The Official KGB-B[lahhg]

Please update all letterhead and correspondance accordingly.

Sunday, August 19, 2007

Day 1. Round 2. FIGHT!!!

Now the real work begins. I have created this thing, now it is time to give it meaning.

What you see before you will be a dailey(ish) log of the thoughts and events leading up to, and including all those that occur during, my grand BYE-BYE [duh duh duuuuuuuuh]. For all of you wondering,

"Oh god, is he going to highlight every reference to the grand BYE-BYE [duh duh duuuuuuuuh], by increasing the font and including a three ominous chords?"

I have one thing to say...ooooh yes.

But what is this grand BYE-BYE [duh duh duuuuuuuuh] you might ask? Why, it is my departure to study physical theatre in Franceland.

Over the next nine plus months I intend to: First, blahhg (as it shall now on be referred to) every day. Second, at least twice weekly publish The Official BYE-BYE [duh duh duuuuuuuuh] Picture Porn column. This column will consist of four pictures which will have recently taken, and possibly some accompanying commentary. Third, once weekly post The Official BYE-BYE [duh duh duuuuuuuuh] Video Experience Extravaganza. This little multi-media wonder will consist of a web-cam video. Probably of me. Maybe not. Doing something. Hopefully interesting. Maybe not. And finally, for my piece de resistance (sans accents appropries), I will include, for our lovely readers in the motherland, The Official BYE-BYE [duh duh duuuuuuuuh] French-speak Word of the Day. Weeeeee!

And that pretty much covers it. That is what you can hope to find.

As I become more proficient in all the tricks of blahhging, this site will evolve and change. New features may be added, and things that I have promised above may disappear. But the one promise I make to you now and ....uhhhh....promise to keep is that I will not raise taxes in order to produce this blahhg. KYLE GOES BYE-BYE IN '08!!!! YEAH!!!!!!

Actually, Kyle goes bye-bye in '07, but who's counting?

Which provides the perfect segue into.....

Questions for our more technical savvy readers:

1. Using blogspot.com's template, does anyone no how to enter space breaks in the "About Me" description field? I would like my disclaimer to have a space separating it from the rest of the description.

2. Does anyone know where I might be able to find code that would allow me to insert a clock that countdown's to my departure to Franceland?

3. Does anyone know how to insert foreign word characters into posts? If I'm gonna be writing about Franceland I'm gonna need to intermittently use French-speak. This means I'm gonna need to be using some good ole' accented characters.

And with that, I bring the first official day of the Kyle Goes BYE-BYE [duh duh duuuuuuuuh] blahhg to an end. It certainly was a good one.

Below, find your daily dose of French-speak.

The Official BYE-BYE [duh duh duuuuuuuuh] French-speak Word of the Day:
Oui /wi/ adv & nm inv yes. Used in a sentence: Oui.



IT'S ALIVE!!!!

I have given birth to this creature. Now I shall let it roam free!!!!!!.....as soon as I spend my next entire blog establishing all the rules and guidelines. FREEDOM!!!!.....with rules.