Some Observations

Drinking French café is like doing cocaine for the taste. You see, I am incredibly easily affected by caffeine. Back in New York I could never finish a full mug of coffee because my hand was usually shaking too much before the end of it to manage to get it to my lips. If I had a cup anytime after 5pm you could be promised that I would wired until at least 2am. Here, however, I can pound back a few with out even the slightest bit of a buzz. To get a rush I would have to shoot ‘em like a Frat boy on his 21st birthday. Get out the flip cup table, Kyle needs to wake up!

Now granted, the café/coffee here tastes much better, not like the sour acidic mess that is Starbucks, but still, why bother? Coffee/café does not necessarily “taste” good. It’s much like alcohol, at least in my mind, where it’s a taste you develop. Your very first cup is never all that good. Over the years though your appreciation for its subtle, sweet nuttiness grows, your taste buds become weaker, and you actually begin to enjoy it. But if you’re starting on French café, what would compel you to seek out that second mug? With alcohol it’s pretty obvious why we all had that second drink. “Whoa, this feeling is kind of interesting and curious. I wonder what would happen if I intensified it?” French café demands a great deal larger amount of faith. “Well, this didn’t do anything for me and it kinda tasted like tar. But everyone says it does something so I guess I’ll force another one down my throat.” (Repeat sequence at least 5 times) Hmmm…if they have faith like that in your coffee I suppose it’s not all that surprising that France is a much more religious country than the USA. The concept of a God isn’t that much more of a stretch than the belief that French café can get you wired.

Moving on to French grass. They have a great deal of it. In fact, they have loads of beautiful lawns. BUT DEAR GOD DON’T TOUCH THEM, SIT ON THEM, OR OTHERWISE ENJOY THEM IN A TACTILE MANNER!! See below picture of le Jardin du Luxembourg. That’s some pretty grass they got there. Wouldn’t you just love to kick back on it? Nope, don’t even think about. Instead, please use these lawn chairs which were probably bought at IKEA.


Now there are two noticeable exceptions to this rule. The lawns at the Champ de Mars and Invalides are both beautiful and open for general merriment. Still, if you ask me, NYC 1 – Paris 0. Paris, you got the market on beauty cornered (see below picture), but NYC laughs in your face when it comes to wide open lawns on which to play, sun tan, and generally remind yourself that the outer crust of our planet does not really consist solely of concrete. Actually on second thought, when you factor in NYC’s open bottle laws I guess I’d have to call this round a draw. It’s really nice to be able to picnic with a bottle of wine. You can forget that in the ole City.


NYC 0 – Paris 0, however the bookies have NYC up by 2.